3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
My vagina just recognized that song.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
