Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
A+ Viking dick
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
