i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
