My brain says no but my pants say off.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
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He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
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If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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