i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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