I'm laying in your front yard are you home
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
