At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
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apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
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The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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