first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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