That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
