we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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