There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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