Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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