dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
