Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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