don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
