If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I think i peed on brittanys purse
only if we run a train.
done.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Randomize
