Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize