He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
