before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
