Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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