i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
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and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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