So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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