So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
