I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
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Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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