first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize