Are we in a gay sports bar?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
