That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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