i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
