OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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