Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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