You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize