so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
