Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
