I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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