I just made out with a guy for $7.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
