stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize