I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
