I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
