I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
