my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
