some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
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For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
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We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
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