I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
