Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
