i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You ate ashes out of my bong
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
