you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize