Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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