Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
