If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
