I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
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He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
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Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney