my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.