I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
