if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
