apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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