I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
