My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
