I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
