i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
