weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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