That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
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So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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